Tal Bagels

Hi.  Sorry I've been missing.  I'm in New York, having a religious experience.  At St. Pat's??  No, no, noooo you silly bird.  At Tal Bagels.

Everything Bagel.  Cream Cheese.  Whitefish Spread.  OH MY GOD.

Oh and Egg Salad on the side.  

How many bagels is too many bagels?  Gonna find out...

Filet Mignon

I'm on an airplane right now but I'm talking to you BECAUSE IT'S THE FUTURE.  I wonder what 2012 will bring?  Probably flying mini vans.  Just mini vans.  Anyway where are my manners HOW WAS YOUR CHRISTMAS?  I think in the future of 2012 I'm going to yell a lot via the caps lock button.  SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.

Well, with a new year comes a lot of "I'm going to diet and work out yeah sure I am" resolutions.  That means, you have about a week to eat what you want.  Like Filet Mignon marinated in Guinness beer, soy sauce and worchestire sauce.  Do it.  Or better yet ladies, get the man in your life to do it for you.      

Merry Christmas

My Drunk Kitchen.

It's beginning to LINK a lot like Christmas.

Did you see what I did there?  Sorry about that.

  

Festive, glittery cake pops.  

Brie on a stick??  Yes.

Step-by-step instructions on how to make your potatoes the purtiest of all.

How to make ooey gooey cake in a slow cooker - thanks E!

Must try these eggs, MUST.

I do not celebrate Hanukkah, but I would like to celebrate these latkes.

Need last minute gifts?  Try the edible kind.

How about a gingerbread marshmallow for your hot chocolate?

Cheers!

{Image HERE.  Where I will be SOON, hurry up.}

Giveaway WINNER and MORE, TREATS, and commas.

Thanks for playing my Farmer Ham Giveaway, you readers you.  The winner, chosen randomly, of the 4 Farmer John Hams, is, but first let me say that a lot of commas makes this very dramatic, ok, AMY GREER!  (Amy, please contact me with your mailing address ASAP.)

Ok, I think I've kept you up to date with the ridiculous amount of holiday treats I made this year.  But have I told you about White Chocolate Peppermint Bark and Chocolate Almond Truffles yet?  No?!  WELL OKAY THEN.  Click the link for the bark, and see below for the truffles...

Yum.  Used this recipe, added 1/4 tsp of almond extract to the ganache and sprinkled chopped almonds after dipping truffles in chocolate coating.  

I might be MIA over the next week or so.  But don't get mad, GET GLAD, it's the holidays!  Time to stress out and overeat!  xoxo

  

Christmas Chocolate Chip Cookies

I didn't post anything yesterday, but if you're thinking that means I finally stopped baking Christmas cookies you are DEAD.WRONG. and you don't know me at all.

Carson came up to me the other day and said, "when are you going to bake a regular cookie?"

And I said, "what were those words you just said?"

"You know, not a fancy one from a fancy magazine."

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THIS TO ME.  Tomorrow."

So I made regular old chocolate chip cookies.  With a twist.  

I'M SORRY I CAN'T BE REGULAR.

I made THESE from one of Bobby Flay's throwdowns and they are perfect.  You can find muscavado sugar at Whole Foods or fancy grocery stores.  I added 1/2 tsp of cinnamon to the dry ingredients for that subtle, holiday flavor.  And before baking, I dipped the tops of cookies in red & green sprinkles.

This is as regular as I get people (CARSON).    

ANOTHER Farmer John Ham Giveaway!

Were you upset that you didn't win the Farmer John Ham giveaway?  Have you even left the house, or taken off your pajamas, since the winner was announced?  Well, CHIN UP, Charlie (and put on some clothes) because that was only a sneak peek.  Guess what?!?

Farmer John is letting me give away 4 MORE HAMS!  AT ONCE!  That is a $100 value, in case math isn't your strong suit.  And since they are in gift certificate form, you can redeem them at your convenience (exp. 6/30/12).  That means a ham for the holidays, a ham for Valentine's Day, a ham for Easter and a ham for National Glazed Ham Day (April 15th, duh).  Just comment below to win, and good luck!

*PLEASE NOTE: Farmer John products are only sold in California, Arizona, Nevada and Hawaii.  (But if you win from out-of-state, it would make a lovely present?)  
 

GIVEAWAY RULES:

1. You must be an official follower of this blog to win.

2. Follow me on Twitter for an extra entry (comment below twice if you do).

3. Only open to residents of the U.S. and Canada.

4. Winner will be chosen at random on Monday, December 19th, at 8am PST.

(Farmer John on Facebook and Twitter)

Vodka with Jalapeno, Basil, Cilantro and Lime

Over the weekend, I went to this fabulous restaurant with even more fabulous friends.  (Off the subject but related to the word "fabulous" - did anyone see Kristin Wiig do Kim Cattrall on SNL last week? Amazing.)  Most of us ordered their signature cocktail, the Tavern on the Green, which was rum, basil, cilantro, jalapenos and lime.  Because I am a mom, I didn't drink 15.  And because I am a mom, I decided we should recreate it the next night at home.  Project!  (If I wasn't a mom I'd pour Kettle in my coffee.)

So I minced up some jalapeno into teeny, tiny pieces (*see note below) and added them to a bottle of vodka.  We only had the patience to let it sit for about 30 minutes, but the longer you do I imagine, the better.     

In the meantime, I finely chopped some basil and cilantro, let that sit in a bowl of lime juice and whisked it all together with a couple teaspoons of brown sugar.

Lots of ice, lots of jalapeno vodka, a couple spoonfuls of the lime/herb mixture and Fresca for fizz (club soda would work too).  Lime for garnish.  Holiday straw for adorableness.  

*NOTE: Never, ever, under any circumstances in the world use your fingers to get the seeds and ribs out of a jalapeno.  You're like, no shit Sherlock, are you slow??  Yes.  Yes I am slow.  I don't know what I was thinking, but the knife seemed like too much work and I am part cave-woman.  It didn't hurt at first. But an hour or so later, the burning.  The throbbing.  THE BURNING.  Every single fingertip, I was ready to cut off.  I tried everything: soaking them in milk and sugar, washing them with lemon juice, dish soap, coating them with toothpaste.  Only temporary relief.  Meditating through the pain was the only thing that helped, and I'm serious, I tried that.  And then I drank some more vodka.

For some creative DIY alcoholic gift ideas: Holiday Spirit(s)

Poached Eggs in Tomato Sauce with Chickpeas and Feta

I've been reading through Bon Appetit a lot this month, which you should know by now from my most recent posts, and when I came across this recipe I stopped.  It spoke to me.  Hi Siri, it said, I am chickpeas, which you like, and feta, which you adore, and tomato sauce, something everyone loves, and poached eggs, which are really healthy and WOULD LOOK GREAT ON YOUR THIGHS RIGHT NOW. That is what it said.  It also said, I'm fast and easy.  (Slut)

So now you know that I hear voices when I read food magazines, and now you know that this is a great recipe.  Vegetarian, robust flavors with Middle Eastern flair, great served with toast or pita, healthy, easy weeknight meal.  You can find the recipe HERE.

Chewy Ginger Cookies

If you want to plan an intervention, you can, but I don't think "baking too many Christmas cookies" requires professional help, do you?  Maybe.  Maybe I think so too.  Because on Sunday, I only left the kitchen once and that was to buy a mailbox at a hardware store.  Did you know they sell mailboxes at hardware stores?  Did you know they're not cheap?  What am I even talking about?  

THESE COOKIES.  They are so good.  I wouldn't plan an intervention if you ate all of them in one sitting.  And guess what - I didn't even have fresh ginger and they're STILL superb.  I rolled mine in sanding sugar before baking for that sparkly effect you see above.  This crystalized ginger adds to that too...  

Intervention schminterwention.

Peppermint Meringues

Looky looky what I did!  I made something just as pretty as the cover of Bon Appetit.

I don't even know if I care for meringues, honestly, but when I saw the December edition of BA and those pink, swirly, fluffy little puffs of air on the cover, I knew I must make them.

I swear I'm not normally this girly.  Oooo, look, matchy matchy!

These were surprisingly easy to make.  If you like meringues or pretty things, you should make them.  

Here's the recipe.

Kisses!

(Sorry)

Farmer John Ham giveaway WINNER and Baked Ham, Pear and Gorgonzola Sandwiches

First things first, congrats to NICOLE L. for winning the Farmer John Ham!  

See contact information under 'Find Siri' and shoot me an email with your mailing address.

Ok, now for why I suck at life.  I was planning on making 3 different bite-sized appetizers with my ham, but my to-do list (which is taller than me) took over this weekend and I was left with time for only one.  HOWEVER!  One delicious appetizer...  

I was so excited to cook with ham because I think it pairs brilliantly with so many things.  I chose a combo of savory and sweet.  Spicy mustard, a sweet sticky glaze, tangy cheese and juicy, crunchy fruit with crisped potato bread and FARMER JOHN HAM!  

Little sandwiches, perfect to serve at a holiday cocktail party.

   

Baked Ham, Pear and Gorgonzola Sandwiches

(Makes 9 mini sandwiches, very easy to double or triple)

Printable Recipe

For sandwiches:

Farmer John ham, sliced to desired thickness

1 loaf potato bread

1 T dijon mustard

1 T coarse ground mustard

1 pear

Gorgonzola cheese

For glaze:

1 stick unsalted butter

2 T brown sugar

1 T dry mustard

1 T Worscestershire sauce

Toothpicks

To prepare the glaze, combine butter, brown sugar, dry mustard and worscestershire sauce in a saucepan over medium heat.  Whisk until melted, and then bring to a boil.  Remove from heat and set aside.  

Using a small biscuit or cookie cutter, cut out 18 circles of potato bread (for 9 sandwiches - I'm great at math).  You can save the leftover bread for croutons or bread crumbs!  

In a small bowl, stir together both dijon and coarse ground mustard.  

Place 9 of your bread circles in a 9" baking sheet.  Top each circle with mustard and spread with back of spoon.  

Cut ham to fit sandwiches, and place on top of mustard.

Cut pear to fit sandwiches, and place on top of ham.  

Sprinkle each sandwich with desired amount of gorgonzola cheese.  (If you're not a fan, brie or swiss would be nice too).  

Place remaining bread on top of each sandwich, and pour glaze over - making sure to cover each.  

Bake sandwiches in a 350 degree oven, for 20 minutes covered and then 10 minutes uncovered.  Insert a toothpick through each sandwich before removing.  Serve warm.  

Turkey Meatballs with Basic Tomato Sauce

If you're like me, then you could eat spaghetti and meatballs everyday of your life.  And if you're like me, you know you cannot eat spaghetti and meatballs everyday of your life.  Until maybe now.  Because I found a recipe that you can overeat without the guilt, well, except for the guilt that comes with your inability to exercise any sort of portion control WHATSOEVER.

Here's the recipe.  I swear to you, make this for someone who thinks ground turkey is lame, and you will change their mind.  Better yet, serve it with spaghetti squash and change the world.    

Stay tuned for giveaway winner and my Farmer John Ham recipe later today!

(Have to go get some cavities filled first, weeeeeeeeeeeeee.)

Giveaway: Free Farmer John Bone-in Ham!

I'm excited to let you know that the wonderful people at Farmer John asked me to participate in a Southern California featured blogger program.  They sent me a huge, delicious, WHOLE HAM - and I'm going to share 3 recipes with you on Monday that I'm in the middle of creating.

But that's not all - they're giving you a ham too!  All you have to do is comment below to win.  It's in gift certificate form (maximum value of $25) so you can redeem the ham when you're ready, say, for your holiday dinner?

GIVEAWAY RULES:

1. You must be an official follower of this blog to win.

2. Follow me on Twitter for an extra entry (comment below twice if you do).

3. Only open to residents of the U.S. and Canada.

4. Winner will be chosen at random on Monday, December 12th, at 8am PST.

Almond Oat Lace Cookies

If you're sick of me baking cookies this month well then, go away.  There is no end in sight.

These crunchy delights were found in this month's Bon Appetit magazine, recipe here.  

I won't lie to your face, though, they weren't exactly fun to make.  The dough was crumbly and hard to work with...

...but I was a tiny bit short on butter so that might have been why.

Also, Dear Martha Stewart...

...you should go back to jail for selling this product.  

Crabby morning Siri aside, the cookies are DELICIOUS.  

Perfect texture, full of nutty flavor, drizzled in chocolate, and because they're so thin you sort of feel like you can eat 12.  Eat 12!

Festive Edible Gifts, that is all.

white chocolate peppermint bark

chocolate peanut toffee

salted caramels

Coconut Macaroons

Do you know how easy it is to make Coconut Macaroons?  Of course you do not, because up until yesterday I didn't either and I know what you know.  We know all of the same things.  Obviously you know how I can fold up my ear and get it stuck in my ear socket, obviously.  And I know how you secretly watch that one reality show.  See?  We know everything about each other.

Back to how we both didn't know how easy coconut macaroons were until we found THIS recipe.  Four ingredients, no time at all BUT, IMPORTANT TIP: do NOT over-fold the egg whites.  Gently incorporate them into the coconut mixture, even to the point where you still see chunks of the egg whites throughout. If you over-fold, your cookies will come out flat.  But you knew that, because I knew that.